Pal Friends and Relationships
In the following
piece Stephanie Constantina explores an idea that can make all the
difference in pen pal friends relationships, and in all relationships,
Pal Friends and Relationships
by Stephanie Constantina
When looking at pen pal friends, the
relationships between them, and how to improve and develop such
relationships, there is a general principle of all relationships
that applies here too. The so-called "secret" of successful relationships,
pen pal or otherwise, is to always try to think about the other
person's needs and wants.
Pen pal friends can have the most successful
relationship when each is being considerate towards the other and
thinking of the other's needs and wants. However, unless one is
intending the pen pal relationship to develop towards love, the
average pen pal friendship is likely to be a little more selfish
than the average love relationship.
Nevertheless, give and take is needed
in any relationship, friend, pen pal or otherwise. Each of us begins
life as a tiny baby that is totally engrossed in only thinking of
its own needs and wants. For a baby the concepts of other people
as being like oneself, as having needs and wants, doesn't exist.
So each of us has to develop an appreciation of other people as
being like ourselves. In this way relationships develop, through
parents, siblings, friends and then eventually through lovers.
Of course, successful relationships
of all kinds, pen pals, friends and others, require work on the
part of the people involved. This work involves not being selfish
and thinking about the other person. People in successful relationships
know this. It is an ongoing process.
But, in terms of pen pal friendships,
how can you develop a successful relationship? It's all about learning
what the other person likes as well as what he or she likes to do,
finding out about the other's personality, what affects him or her,
what pleases, and so on. Then you can make an effort to engage with
the other person's personality, feeding them what they need, but
only doing so because you genuinely care.
This does not, however, mean reducing
your own needs and wants in the relationship to zero. Rather is
a process of compromise, of sharing interesting aspects of your
own life with the other person as well is finding out about what
is interesting in their life.
Of course, people have different reasons
for taking part in pen pal friendships. Many are simply interested
in another way of life. If the pen pal lives in another country
his or her life can seem exotic and appealing. Many pen pals are
interested in eventually finding a life partner, and prefer to do
this through finding a pen pal friend initially. This approach can
work, but only if the other pen pal is open to the possibility.
So, successful relationships of all
kinds depend upon give and take and each person in the relationship
considering the needs and wants of the other person. If you understand
this and apply it to your pen pal friends and friendships you should
be more successful than otherwise.
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You Might Want to Look for New Pen Pals and Friends
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places to meet people online). Are your new pen pals
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To Profiles' button below to quickly find out:
Pal Friends and Relationships Advice:
Friends and Friendships
Cultural Marriage and Relationships
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Pen Pals and Friends