and Keeping in Touch
relationships should be important to us, no matter how relatively
unimportant a friendship may seem at the time. For, as we all know,
shallower friendships and relationships can, given time, develop
into more meaningful relationships. In one sense every person is
part of a tribe. Often, when people live in cities and have busy
lives their tribe is not the same as everyone else's, though it
may overlap. Your tribe is the combination of people you know, relate
to, and have relationships with, and this is different for each
of us. If we fall out of touch with members of our tribe then something
is lost, our world is diminished. Michael Lipp gives his view...
By Michael Lipp
I used to lose
friends the same way I would lose car keys. They would somehow be
misplaced. Of course, with car keys I go through a ritual to look
for them – my night table, the jacket I wore yesterday, my pants
in the laundry, the junk drawer, my wife’s purse. And then I circle
through the same places again, thinking I didn’t look hard enough.
of course, is that eventually my car keys turn up – they have to.
I have to look harder, if at all, for lost friends or I rely on
serendipity or I give up. But what does it cost to lose them and
what does it cost to find them?
Well, we often
don’t even notice when we lose them that we’ve lost something valuable.
I know that’s callous, but the notion of moving on or starting new
is endemic to our culture. “Stay in touch” we might say, but gone
is gone – even email addresses change.
We do have ways
now of reclaiming old friends (though women often change their last
names) and some of those ‘find someone’ web sites can be useful.
But we largely remain unaware that we have lost something valuable
when we lose friends. I know this because I know how I feel when
an old friend suddenly turns up.
The other day,
a friend of mine discovered that two of his clients were old friends
of mine. Because of him I called them (they’re reading this) and
we will get together. I had mused about them from time to time over
the years but, strangely enough, I didn’t realize that I missed
them until we spoke and all the good things about them came flashing
It pays to stay
connected and whatever small effort is required to keep that connection
alive, no relationship is worth disappearing.
Lipp is a Relationship Coach and an activist for ending hunger.
He is opn the boards of Events to Empower Humanity, the Global
Abundance Alliance, Curbing Hunger and Partners in Ending
Hunger. He is committed to a world of love, sufficiency and
contribution, which is immensely valuable when deaaling with
his wife, 6 children and 6 grandchildren.
the search box top right to search the international database for
people to get to know.
if you would like to browse the dating ads click
here. Find dating advice here.
advice on how to make friends is to always be yourself. This means
not pretending to be someone or something you're not, in other words
being genuine and sincere. Add to that an honest concern for the other person
and you have the way to achieve lasting friendships. Like any relationship,
friendships have to be worked on, of course, they have to be maintained
and allowed to grow.
really can find new friends and 'tribe members' here: