new friendships page Maintaining Relationships...

Maintaining Relationships and Keeping in Touch

Maintaining relationships should be important to us, no matter how relatively unimportant a friendship may seem at the time. For, as we all know, shallower friendships and relationships can, given time, develop into more meaningful relationships. In one sense every person is part of a tribe. Often, when people live in cities and have busy lives their tribe is not the same as everyone else's, though it may overlap. Your tribe is the combination of people you know, relate to, and have relationships with, and this is different for each of us. If we fall out of touch with members of our tribe then something is lost, our world is diminished. Michael Lipp gives his view...

Losing Relationships
By Michael Lipp

I used to lose friends the same way I would lose car keys. They would somehow be misplaced. Of course, with car keys I go through a ritual to look for them – my night table, the jacket I wore yesterday, my pants in the laundry, the junk drawer, my wife’s purse. And then I circle through the same places again, thinking I didn’t look hard enough.

The difference, of course, is that eventually my car keys turn up – they have to. I have to look harder, if at all, for lost friends or I rely on serendipity or I give up. But what does it cost to lose them and what does it cost to find them?

Well, we often don’t even notice when we lose them that we’ve lost something valuable. I know that’s callous, but the notion of moving on or starting new is endemic to our culture. “Stay in touch” we might say, but gone is gone – even email addresses change.

We do have ways now of reclaiming old friends (though women often change their last names) and some of those ‘find someone’ web sites can be useful. But we largely remain unaware that we have lost something valuable when we lose friends. I know this because I know how I feel when an old friend suddenly turns up.

The other day, a friend of mine discovered that two of his clients were old friends of mine. Because of him I called them (they’re reading this) and we will get together. I had mused about them from time to time over the years but, strangely enough, I didn’t realize that I missed them until we spoke and all the good things about them came flashing back.

It pays to stay connected and whatever small effort is required to keep that connection alive, no relationship is worth disappearing.

About The Author

Michael Lipp is a Relationship Coach and an activist for ending hunger. He is opn the boards of Events to Empower Humanity, the Global Abundance Alliance, Curbing Hunger and Partners in Ending Hunger. He is committed to a world of love, sufficiency and contribution, which is immensely valuable when deaaling with his wife, 6 children and 6 grandchildren.

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The best advice on how to make friends is to always be yourself. This means not pretending to be someone or something you're not, in other words being genuine and sincere. Add to that an honest concern for the other person and you have the way to achieve lasting friendships. Like any relationship, friendships have to be worked on, of course, they have to be maintained and allowed to grow.

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